Coincidence? I don't think so.

I'm currently reading Callous Disregard: Autism and Vaccines: The Truth Behind a Tragedy - Hardcover (May 24, 2010) by Andrew J. Wakefield . It is taking me FOREVER to get through it; mostly because it is excruciatingly boring and sometimes I have to look up words in order to know what the heck is going on. There is a of medical mumbo jumbo and since I am not a doctor, I google a lot of things. But, I am interested in what Andrew Wakefield has to say. I know this Autism/vaccine debate is a hot bottom issue. I just don't see how all these parents claiming to have children negatively affected by the MMR vaccine can ALL be wrong.

Coincidence? I don't think so. Not really. So what the hell is going on? (One of the reason's I like blogging is because I can swear whenever I choose to! Having three little kids really puts a damper on my potty mouth so, be advised that I plan to sneak in a naughty cuss word whenever a good opportunity presents itself!)

Could this really be a big cover-up or conspiracy? Are drug companies really that powerful? What about the doctors that we all trust? I love our family doctor and I like to think that he would not steer my children in a potentially dangerous direction. Are they looking out for the greater good here at the expense of the unfortunate few who will be impacted? Really? Wow. I hope not. But clearly something is going on here.

Charlotte is 13 months old. She has had a handful of vaccinations. We started them later and spread them out giving her one or two at a time. She has NOT yet had the MMR vaccination. I imagine she would be "due" for it at her one year old check-up. I have canceled and rescheduled her appointment three times. (I'm an avoider...can you tell?)

My older daughter, Willa (who will be eight next month) has had both the original vaccine and the booster which I think kids typically get around age five. Harry who just turned five has received the first of the two part series.

These are the kind of things that keep me up at night. Honestly, given all that I "think" I know about autism, I feel a little like I have dogged a bullet. More than once. Especially with Harry.

Here’s the conclusion my limited knowledge had led me to at this point… I think that with autism there is often a genetic component. I think the MMR vaccine has the potential to "trigger" whatever it is inside some kids that messes them up. I think that some children are prone to having a negative outcome from the MMR vaccine and for those children the results are often devastating.

I will not be giving Harry any further MMR vaccinations at this point. Charlotte will not be getting the MMR vaccine either. Am I doing the right thing? I don’t know for sure. On this one I am going to have to go with what “feels” right because sometimes that’s the best I can do.